For many years, I went through a constant cycle of being fully aware that my mental health wasn't 'right' but then having a period of no problems / issues, and completely denying the fact that anything was ever wrong.
It wasn't until the end of my A-Levels that my mental health really began to affect my everyday life. I'm not sure if the pressure of A-Levels while also not having a place at a University finally made me crack, or the straining relationship I had with one of my family members at home. I knew, however, that something had changed from the usual 'cycle' of mental health I had.
It had started to affect my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, and he had bought it up to me several times, encouraging me to get help. I agreed that I would, but like the past, I just thought I was having a few bad days.
Once my A-Levels had finished, and I was well underway into my gap year, (which is a lot less interesting than it sounds) I made the decision to book an appointment at the doctors. After scanning the NHS website several times, trying to figure out what could potentially be wrong with me, I decided to just say how I was feeling rather than try and match myself up with some sort of criteria I thought I would need to meet for them to give me help.
Maybe it was just luck or fate, but the GP I had an appointment with was probably one of the most open-minded ones at my local surgery. After telling him how I had been feeling, and some events that had happened in my past (as I considered the fact that the two could be related), he believed I had PTSD and wanted to refer me for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). From that point on, I was well on my way into the mental health services of the NHS (which I had never experienced before).
I think I might continue my journey of receiving help in another blog post, but I wanted to share my wake up call to realising that something wasn't right, and that I needed help. When my behaviour started to affect the people around me, I knew it was time for change in my life.
This blog post took a while to get here, I will admit but I've been busy trying to get assignments out the way so that I can relax!
Rosina x
